Written by lotta cash
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Tuesday, 1 February 2011

image for Returns on the North West Passage and the price of Bolivian Copper I've got my eagle eye on the market therefore I am a golden eagle

I have not taken my eyes of the screens all morning. The price of oil is changing by the minute. I have also liquidated my China bonds and suggest you do the same. I have instead invested in Cuba. I'm getting in while it's cheap and recommend a little flutter. I would start with no more then 5.5% a share and stop when it reaches 69 (to avoid the unpleasantness of last time.. I think you know what I'm referring to).

I am also considering a hedge fund in a pharmaceutical distribution company that is going through some reconfiguration at the moment in Afghanistan. Remember they laughed at the telephone. Might I also add that despite the good news from the Crimean front and the influence that will have on the price of rubber oil in the Transvaal's, I will still not be able to dine at the club, today.

Some of you may be aware of the banging I took after my last escapade into Bolivian copper. I think my regular readers will agree that my adventure into the mines left us all with mud on our hands. (Indeed the muck on mine has only faded this week). I would also once again bring your attention to that unfortunate mishap we were led into in the North West passage when the share price hit 6 8s. (I don't want to go there again!!!). That was not my fault. It was due to the advice I took from Robert Maxwell during the crash of 2004. At the time I felt that I was no longer welcome at the club and would never taken on the trading floor again. (At least not till the rash cleared up).

I know in the past I have threatened to take an add in the Times with my side of the story. However I say let them eat cake and remember Enron. (Personally I loved working there and look forward to returning to the board room in autumn, until then I have my eyes on the screen ….till tomorrow fellow dealers and wheelers.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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