Written by susan allen-rosario
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Tuesday, 18 January 2011

image for I've seen so many breasts my eyes have nipples Who does that?

Call me crazy. Call me old fashioned. But I just don't get it.

Back in the day, we worked really hard not to look like a whore. Even when hot pants and mini skirts were in fashion, we did it with style and taste. Think of the model Twiggy. Long legs. Flat chest. She would never make it in today's world without pumped up ta-ta's and a pair of eight-inch stripper heels. Not to mention a traveling dance pole, handcuffs (whips and chains optional).

If we dressed even a little sexy, we couldn't wait for a bus without getting hit up with offers. Now everyone looks like a whore, so how can the John's tell the difference? I've seen so many ass cracks and cleavage lately I can't tell what end I'm looking at.

I asked a girl a question in the store the other day and then realize I was talking to her ass. Lord, please tell me who needs to look hot when working in a hardware store? Was she trying to turn on the stacks of plywood and bins of pipe- fittings? It ruined my good time when she stood up and I saw a paint -brush stuck in her cleavage.

Who does that?

It made me afraid to go on to the fish market. I had visions of halibut peeking out of forbidden places. Places where fish should never travel and I should never imagine they have ever been.

Frankly it's just scary.

What do you expose after you have exposed everything? Think about it because I don't want to. I have too much shopping to do and my mind can't take it. The visual is too freighting.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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