Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Wednesday, 29 December 2010

image for Is it me or did the 2000's SUCK! Ain't that the truth!

The first decade of the 2000's SUCKED!

I don't know about you but don't you think the first 10 years of the new century were awful. I mean when you compare it too the 1990's. I did a comparative of all the shit that happened during the past decade and put it up against the 90's and here is what I came up with in no particular order:

(2000's) 9/11 - can someone tell me why we didn't make a parking lot out of Afghanistan?? SUCKED MOST

(1990's)1993 World Trade Tower Attacks - can someone tell me why we didn't make a parking lot out of the Middle East - less Israel of course? SUCKED LESS

(2000's) Iraq/Afghan Wars - can someone tell me why we are still there? They hate us and don't want us there! SUCKED MOST

(1990's)Persian Gulf War (Dessert Storm) - we won in like 4 days. What a route. President Shwartzkoff was amazing! DIDN'T SUCKED AT ALL(2000's)2005 Tsunami - something like 200,000 people lost their lives. Now I know that by the opening of business the next day they had replaced that same amount of loss of life with their own birthrate in Bande Ache but still pretty bad stuff. SUCKED MOST

(1990's) The Great Flood of 1993 in the Mississippi and Missouri Rivers - Really? Like 50 people died and who knows if that wasn't just because of old age the bunch of hillbillies. SUCKED WAY LESS

(2000's)Global Recession - the Banksters raping of the American dream and "buggering" of the European continent. Hell they are still mid-coitus with all of us the creeps. SUCKED MOST

(1990's)Dot.com bubble bursts! Who cares. I don't even remember that affecting the economy and Microsoft and Apple seemed to have benefited in a big way. SUCKED WAY LESS

(2000's)DARFUR - them poor people. No one cares because no one ever cares about Africans. Go figure American politicians stays out of a confrontation with genocide when they are most needed - the fucking cowards! SUCKED MOST(1990's) NAFTA - thanks Clinton you chubby chasing, burger inhaling, cigar "smoking", red neck! Who needs borders when it comes to our jobs?? What a fucking crook. SUCKS LESS BUT BARELY.

(2000's) A New Pope for the Catholics - Pope Paul was way cooler than this Benedict freak. I mean Benedict is his name really? Oh and he was a NAZI. WHO CARES(1990's) Branch Davidian Compound Raid - that Karesh freak had it coming, but this did kind of suck because he was just preaching free love - as long as you never left the compound. SUCKED MOST

(2000's)Hurricane Katrina - terrible loss of life. Again proving that we don't care about Africans. Hey Brownie 'great job' you horse strokin' loser. Bush what were you thinking? Oh I'm sorry that's an oxymoron. SUCKED MOST TIE

(1990's) Oklahoma City Bombing - Timothy McVeigh the devil spawn himself. Kill em' all men, women, kids - may you rot in HELL you fucking creep. SUCKED MOST TIE(2000's) Michael Jackson dies - sad but lets face it that pedophile was on his way to hell anyway. And I'm not sure but was his life what the book "Benjamin Button" was based on? SUCKED BUT NO MORE THAN MJ LIKED TO SUCK, if you know what I mean.

(1990's) OJ Murders his wife - and he got off! Only in America could this have happened. I guess he was going to get off unless he couldn't help himself and kill one of the jurors during cross-examination. Oh well he ended up going up the river anyway - a real feel good story . SUCKED MOST

(2000's) North Korea Threatens Nukes - shocker! That little yellow slope Kim Bung Hole or whatever his name is reminds me of the kid I knew when I was a growing up that would kill the neighborhood cats. He's a madman and another big THANKYOU to China for giving him Uranium you nasty yellow bastards! SUCKED MOST

(1990's) Y2K - remember this scam? Boy the computer geeks had us all freaked out for what? Just to be scared I guess and they made a buttload of money keeping us in the dark about something that MIGHT happen. Man we were all just suckers for this shit - Microsoft bring back Windows 95! WHO CARES - after the fact of course

(2000's) President George W. Bush - what a national embarrassment. A whole new level of stupid - AND HE RAN THE COUNTRY! Right into the ground by the way. This proves that NAZI Germany can happen again. SUCKED THE MOST EVER(1990's) President Bill Clinton - well lets face it the guy needed to "get his fuck on" a little too much for the "real Americans" (Republican hypocrites) to understand but can you blame him? I mean take a look at Hilary during the 90's? - ugh. I'd be sniffing any skank hole willing to smoke the sausage too - if you know what I mean. OH THERE WAS SUCKING BUT NOT THE WAY THIS COMPARISON CHART INTENDED


So the final tally is the 2000's had 7 SUCKS MOST; 1 WHO CARES; 1 TIE; and MJ dying. The 1990's had 2 SUCKS MOST; 1 WHO CARES; 6 SUCKED LESS; and 1 that didn't even suck at all.

It's easy - I'm ready for the fucking 00's to get over with!

William Benesh

Junior Investigative Reporter

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!
Print this

Share/Bookmark

Go to top ^