Written by j.w.
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Saturday, 20 November 2010

'Terry, how can I cope with West Ham losing to Liverpool 3-0?'

'Penny, you have to be thankful it was only three. At half time I thought we were in for double figures.'

'But this can't go on.'

'No. I don't know long Avram has got but I wouldn't be surprised if he goes pretty soon.'

'Do you think that will make any difference?'

'It might. Bob Green's in form and Scott Parker wasn't playing. With those two there's still a chance of surviving in the Premier League.'

'On top of this Grandma has died and I've got to go to the funeral. She left instructions that it should be a Humanist ceremony. Dad is mad about that.'

'Well, it's her funeral.'

'Yes. I shall miss her a lot. Such good sense after my parents.'

'Your parents are OK Penny. There are plenty worse I can tell you.'

'What's up with your form Terry?'

'It's confidence. Or more exactly lack of confidence. I know when I score again all will be well.'

'I wish I could give you confidence. You should have plenty of it. I've seen you score some amazing goals.'

'The trainer tells me it will come back. He says once you've shown real talent it is always there.'

'Of course it is. Just like it will be with West Ham.'

'I want to do better than that!'

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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