Written by Rob Barratt
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this
Tags: Poetry, Pope

Tuesday, 16 November 2010

image for The Pope is just a bloke The Pope is just a bloke

The Pope is just a bloke by Rob Barratt

I know the pope is just a bloke
Jesus was just a man
Mary was no virgin
There is no master plan

Buddha was a human
Homer's wife is Marge
Sikhs and gurus do not know who's
Overall in charge

We all have a birthday
Everybody dies
No one lives forever
Bowyers make pork pies

Saints were only people
And some of them were sinners
In the Roman Catholic lottery
They were just the winners

Synagogues are buildings
Temples are just bricks
Churches are for worshipping
Things that don't exist

Mohammed was no prophet
He guessed and just got lucky
Guru Nanak lives in Cannock
Next to the Kentucky (fried chicken)

The Bible's full of fairy tales
As silly as the Torah's
The Koran's filled with made-up stuff
And things to really bore us

Judas was a scapegoat
'Cos someone's always blamed
You've got to smile at Pontius Pilate
Was he merely framed?

The atheists don't know for sure
That there's no spiritual force
All things bright and beautiful
Like famine and divorce

It's money people worship
In malls and shopping centres
Materialistic gone bolistic
With myopic TV mentors

Multi-nationals rape the land
Oil companies are polluters
Executives make mega-bucks
By tapping on computers

Crystal healing doesn't work
Some priests are alcoholics
Californian life-coaches
Spout pseudo-religious bollocks

Moses was a wise man
Of children he had seven
He put them in a donkey cart
And sent them up to heaven

The way was dark and stormy
The donkey tripped and fell
The children went to heaven
But the donkey went ..... straight to his "no win - no fee" solicitor

Don't ask me what's the answer
I know no more than you
Apparently the best guess yet
Is number forty-two.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!
Print this

Share/Bookmark

Go to top