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Saturday, 13 November 2010

image for Aung San Suu Kyi, Number One Super Guy. Aung San Suu Kyi, Quicker Than The Human Eye. ABOVE: Nobel laureate Aung San Suu Kyi.

Proving that the Nobel Peace Prize seems a little hypocritical when given to a person whose existence perpetuates war, Myanmar Opposition leader and Nobel-Winning House-Arrest hottie midget Aung San Suu Kyi was freed Saturday in Myanmar after 15 years in detention, as a huge crowd of young anti-government protesters chanted "We're not old enough to recall your accomplishments."

After being incarcerated 15 of the last 21 years, soldiers who usually have their rifles pointed at her noggin lead Aung San to the end of her street, which she hasn't seen since 1996.

"It's very happy to see the people," she said, barely audible over the chanting. "It's been a very long time since I've seen you."

"Any chance I can get some sunglasses? That'd be great," said the out-of-touch leader. "Hey, that woman is watching video on a cellular phone? She must be an assassin from the future! Guards, seize her!"

Aung San will be spending the next few days catching up on human history, and will be addressing her minions at a later date.

In the meantime, Myanmar resident will begin learning the lyrics of the new Myanmarian National Anthem:

Aung San Suu Kyi, number one super girl.
Aung San Suu Kyi, quicker than the human eye.

She's got style, a groovy style,
and was released by her captors today.
When the going gets tough, she's really rough,
with an Aung San Suu Kyi chop (Hi-Ya!)

Aung San Suu Kyi, number one super guy.
Hong Kong Phooey... er, I mean Aung San Suu Kyi, quicker than the human eye.
Aung San Suu Kyi, she's fan-riffic (gong!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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