Written by Jean Le Fete
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Saturday, 13 November 2010

image for Born to Spoof: The Portal's Secrets - Chapter 1 Who are you?

Wales- Masterchev was at the bar waiting for his favorite Wale's Ale. Skoob pulled the special lever, releasing the amber liquid from its specially made cask made from virgin teak wood imported from Thailand.

The two stared at the glass and regarded each other. Masterchev tried to think of the words to confront his sorrow as he lifted the glass to his lips. Jeanlefete had vanished over a month ago with no trace. His clothes were in his room, including his straight jacket that he had used to overcome the pygmie poison darts dipped in cunare from poison dart frogs.

Everyone had been poisoned, some reacted with hysteria, J.O. had recited poetry non-stop; Charpa burned her fishnet stockings, which wouldn't have been so bad if they hadn't been on Skoob at the time.

In a rare appearance, Colonel Juan sat down next to MC. "He's in a better place ye knowit dontcha?" {you know it don't you?}

"I'm shore ofit," {sure of it} said MC, "But 'ow kin we write for these bastard, it just wrong isinit?" {isn't it?}

"Shhhhhhh!!! Keep yer voice down kin ye? Do you want to end up like em? We lost this round, but it isn't over..."

****

Mark prowled his chambers like a caged marmot, his handle bar mustache twitching as he looked at a bank of monitors, including those in the bar. He was at wits end as to what to do. Nobody was writing, but that was the least of his concerns. There was an energy force leaking into the building somewhere, but he couldn't locate it. Only one person knew where it was, but Mark couldn't figure out how he was doing it.

****

Skoob knodded to Col. Juan, who helped MC to his feet, then guided him across the bar to a large bamboo plant in the terrarium. Skoob reached under the bar, a move unseen by the camera's. The spot where MC stood opened up and he disappeared.

For a moment MC thought he had simply fallen down, but he was enveloped in pitch blackness and felt the sensation of falling and falling. Fianlly he hit what felt like cold hard earth. He looked around him he was no longer in The Spoof. There was light coming in what appeared to be the door of a shack. The door opened...

"Whoisthere?" asked MC.
"I'll do the bloody asking here mate! As his eyes adjusted to the light MC saw a tall gaunt old man, dressed in black robes and holding a clip baord, "You're on my list of people to eliminate, so what are you doing up here?"

MC walked to the open door and looked outside, amazed at what he saw. It was a pastoral medevial looking group of buildings, he was about to head out, but then came a nasty crack on his head.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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