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Wednesday, 27 October 2010

image for The Sorrento Chronicles Part One: Paul

Sunday was a turning point in Sorrento.

Wandering down to the restaurant overlooking the Bay of Naples, one couldn't help but feel interested in the variety of food on offer. Deciding I would try the shrimp, my initial reaction to the word CALIMARI was that of a mild pasta sauce.

How wrong could a guy be.

Out came a dozen shrimps on a bed of what appeared to be onion rings. Chewy onion rings. Elasticy onion rings.

Naturally, being Welsh, I only have room for two languages. My Welsh didn't cover the words Squid.

So there I was, devouring squid rings to my heart's content.

And then I saw the news after.

Paul the Psychic Octopus. Died of natural causes.

Links to the England football team. Fabio Capello, thought to love Sorrento.

My uncanny ability to predict rain the next day (having deciphered the Italian by begging on streets).

Had I just eaten the England World Cup Mascot?

The irony of the situation would be desperate. Welsh guy eats Winning World Cup Weirdo. And I'm not on about the South African chappy who scored the goal. I'm on about the psychic eight-legged creature.

A follow up of braised octopus was swiftly denied later that night.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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