Written by anthonyrosania
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Wednesday, 22 September 2010

image for Eagles: "We've signed RB Joique Bell, released WR Hank Baskett, RB Martell Mallett and S Chip Vaughn, and that's about it. Nothing else, I don't think...Oh, yeah: Kevin Kolb's Fired." "Michael Vick is starting?" "Yeah, do you believe it?" "Well, he is the better quarterback."

The Philadelphia Eagles have released the following statement:

"The Philadelphia Eagles have signed RB Joique Bell off the Buffalo Bills' practice squad.

Wide receiver Hank Baskett was released to make room for Bell, who originally signed as a rookie free agent with the Bills.

We've also released safety Chip Vaughn and running back Martell Mallett from the practice squad, and thank them for their service.

Um... Let's see. What else.

The Eagles will be welcoming the Washington Redskins to Lincoln Financial Field on October 3, which will be the Eagles' second home game of the season. and the return of Donovan McNabb.

Uh... The Linc will also be holding exclusive tours of the Field, Press Box, Interview Room, Club and Suite Levels, so that's pretty fun.

Also, um... Hey, did you hear about Pastor Eddie Long in Georgia, coercing boys into sex? Bizarre, right?

So, uh... Yeah, that's about it. <<shuffles papers>> Nothing else, I don't think... So, uh, yeah...

Oh, also: Kevin Kolb will be benched, Michael Vick will be the starting QB next Sunday versus the Jaguars. Have a great day!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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