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Saturday, 18 September 2010

image for Christine O'Donnell Tells Palin if She's Elected Senator She's Screwed

When Christine O'Donnell from Delaware won the GOP nomination for a seat in the U.S. Senate, she appeared to be all smiles. But after the reality of her win and what it meant for her future began to sink in, she immediately called Sarah Palin.

O'Donnell: Hi, Sarah?

Palin: Yah, who wants to know?

O'Donnell: Hi, hon, it's Chris, Christine O'Donnell. Did I catch you at a bad time?

Palin: Oh, no, not at all. Just putting Trig down for the night. What's up?

O'Donnell: Whaddaya mean, what's up? Aren't you watching the election results?

Palin: Oh, that. Yeah, of course. You won, I told you you would.

O'Donnell: Yeah, thanks for that. Listen, that's not really why I called. The reporters here are saying something about me having a chance to actually win that Senate seat. That's not the deal we spoke about. What gives?

Palin: Wait, are you telling me you don't want the job now that we went to all the trouble and might I add, expense, to get you nominated?

O'Donnell: Wellll, if I remember correctly, that day you invited me to lunch over at Schlotzky's we talked about a television deal. You said that as soon as I lost this election, which you were pretty sure I would, that you'd put in a word for me at Fox News to get a paying gig as a political analyst. What the hell am I going to do now? You know my only salary right now comes directly from my campaign money and it's not even enough to pay the mortgage. And if I get this Senate seat, I'll still not be making as much as I could being on the Fox dole.

O'Donnell: Wha what was that beep. We aren't being recorded are we?

Palin: Nah, that's the dryer. Boy, you are skittish aren't you?

Palin: Anyways, girlie girl, who told you to be so darned likeable and smart for gosh sakes? I mean, really, did you have to talk about cloning research and all? You got yourself elected. I don't know what we can do to get you out of the race now.

O'Donnell: Is there any way we can pad the pockets of the Democrats to get that other Chris elected? You know the Coon guy. I mean maybe we could even do a play of words on his name to make me appear racist or something. Anything to throw this damned election.

Palin: Jeez, Chris, I dunno. It's pretty late in the game. Besides, I don't know what you are so worried about. Even though the other news channels frown on having actual senators come onto their shows as political analysts, Fox doesn't march to the beat of that drum. Maybe they'll give you a little something under the table to come onto their show. I'm pretty well hooked up myself, I'll see what I can do. Meanwhile, don't panic and don't say anything stupid, or at least out of the ordinarily stupid. You know. Keep your chin up.

O'Donnell: Ok, Sarah, I'll try. This business of politics is or is it politics of business? Ha ha, sure is tricky. Glad I have you helping me along. By the way, what was that shade of lipstick you told me about again?

Sarah: Rogue Rouge, Chris, Rogue Rouge.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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