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Thursday, 2 September 2010

image for Barack Obama Dunks on Sen. Lamar Alexander Four Times a Week, and other Barack facts. Pino, f--k you, f--k your f--kin' pizza, and f--k Frank Sinatra.

Did you know this about President Obama?

He collects Spider-Man and Conan the Barbarian comics?

He was known as "O'Bomber" at high school for his skill at IED building?

He is the only Presidential Grammy winner? He won in 2006 for the audio version of his memoir, Dreams From My Father, (and as Best New Artist)?

He has read every Harry Potter book?

Did you know?

If you put a "Did You Know?" box inside of a "Did You Know" article, it'll tear a hole in the fabric of space and time?

He worked in a Baskin-Robbins ice cream shop as a teenager and now can't stand fat white people?

His favorite snacks are chocolate-peanut protein bars?

He ate dog meat while living in Indonesia?

His AIM screen-name is "sEvEn_UncUT_incHes"

His favorite drink is black forest berry iced tea.

He still smokes.

He kept a pet ape called Tata while in Indonesia.

He was known as Barry until he asked to be addressed by his full name, Barack Hussein Obama Jolie-Pitt?

He carries a tiny Madonna and child statue and a bracelet belonging to a soldier in Iraq for good luck?

Madonna and Lourdes actually autgraphed it?

He applied to appear in a black pin-up calendar while at Harvard but was rejected by the all-female committee.

His favourite music includes Miles Davis, Bob Dylan, Bach and The Fugees. In fact, his initial campaign slogan was "one time, two times", whatever the f--k that means.

He took Michelle to see the Spike Lee film Do The Right Thing on their first date, and threw a trash can through a pizzaria on the way home to impress her?

As a teenager (read: "Last October") he took drugs including marijuana and cocaine?

He says his worst habit is constantly checking his penis-placement, pantsleg-wise?

He uses an Apple Mac laptop, and threatens to deports Steve Jobs every time the battery dies.

He drives a Ford Escape Hybrid, having ditched his gas-guzzling Hummer H2

He has his hair cut once a week by his Chicago barber, Zariff, who charges $21,000.

His favourite fictional television programs are MASH and anything on Fox News.

He installed a basketball court in the White House grounds, just to perpetuate the stereotype.

He keeps on his desk a carving of a wooden hand holding an egg, a Kenyan symbol of the folly of McDonalds not serving Egg McMuffins after 10:30.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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