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Wednesday, 18 August 2010

image for Hog Jaw People and Places Hog Jaw Town Hall

To keep everyone in the loop on who's who and what's what in Hog Jaw, Arkansas, here is a list of the characters so far that have come to life on the Spoof pages. If any have been left out, I apologize. E-mail me and I will update the list as needed.

Upcoming Events
Hog Jaw Festival Days
Election Day sometime in September

Places Near Hog Jaw, Arkansas

Leaky Cock County
Drippy Dick Springs
Crap Apple
Toad Suck
Possum Snoot - Sheriff of Possum Snoot is Betchur Assboy
Manchester, England - Hog Jaw Sister City

Businesses in Hog Jaw, Arkansas
Hog Jaw Tavern - employee Fifi LaRanch
Pop's Main Street Diner
Main Street Gas, Tackle, Bait and Feed Store - employee Petherbride Brunel
Hog Jaw Daily News - Editor, Vern Baker
Bennie's All-Nite Truck Stop and Truck Wash - Owner Edna Smythe
City of Hog Jaw - Mayor Humphrey Dumpty - Former Mayor, Henry Blather
Deputy Mayor, Coroner and Medical Examiner, Rand Pawl
Hog Jaw High School - Principal, Elmer Chickabiddy III
Football Team - Boars, Hog Jaw Mountain Oysters Baton Twirlers
Hog Jaw Sheriff Dept - Sheriff Keith Barnes, Deputies Skippy Appleweather, Sam Spivens and Skeeter Spivens
Crawford's Marrying Parlor - Owner, Violet Crawford
Veterinarian Bertram Hayes
Dr. Titus Patootie
Arkansas State Prison - Warden, Herman Goering Charpa
Hog Jaw Arthur Murray Studios - Owner, Edna Farkle
Gleason's Bait Shop
Elmer's Gas 'n Go
Sons of the Confederacy Memorial Restoration Project
First Baptist Church - Baptist Young Women's Christian Rifle Club
Southern States Hardware, Tanning Center and Airport
Hog Jaw High Society Ladies and Crank Producers of Hog Jaw County, Rusty Ballliquor is Granddame
Hog Jaw Five and Dime
Hog Jaw Sports Bar
Cornbread Movie House - Owner, Elmer Fiddlefaddle
Polar Princess Ice Cream Diner, Employee Hassie Diddlepuff - Mayor Dumpty's niece
Diddlepuff Farm Tractor Repair Shop and Chewing Tobacco Dispensing Outlet - Owners Doozie Mae and
Clem Diddlepuff
Lucinda's Rest-A-While Luncheonette

Various Townsfolk
Rufus "Sudsy" Buffetcorn, wife is Loretta Jo Buffetcorn
Mother-in-law is Flora Belle Bobbledell
Local Priest - Father Francois Dubois, SJ
Trailer Trash Women - Jolene Trashcan and Mabelline Trashcan, her daughter
Lenny the Lumberjack and his wife Loreena
Mildred Perkins - grows giant zucchini, husband is Gene "Gherkin" Perkins
Shirley Ugest
Sally Caldwell - Affair with Gene Perkins
Juan Gonzalez - Only Mexican in Hog Jaw
Little Bobby Smith
Bubba Larson
Bill Jones
May Cunningham - 92 years old
Cletus Morgan, trucker and his wife Ethyl, who is the PTA president
Morgan's neighbor, Delores Hart
Elmo "Shorty" Waggoner, trucker
Elsie Piebottom is dating Chester down at the post office
Malverna C. Charpa, writer
Lucy May Buckner, teacher
Mavis Dooley, does bird calls
Lacey Davenport, singer
Buck, fireman
Jack Larsen, belches Star-spangled Banner
Earlene Scrotum, running for mayor
Gertie Scrotum
Cooter and Ed Earl Pissgums, conjoined twins running for Mayor
Buttercup, horse running for Mayor
Billy Porterwaggoner, only high school graduate
Laverne Deacon and husband Deacon Deacon, Grand Wizard of local KKK chapter
Moose Jackson, local moonshiner
Esther Sacktree
Edna Thorpe, owns Laundromat
Elvira Bradshaw
Lubner Lautner "Lube" also known as Dick Handsome, actor
Bubba Joe McKinney
Priscilla Smappy
Bessie mae Tickerbottom
Bobby Billy Pixiepup
Elroy chattercork
Agatha Paprika Dimplewater, aka Aggy Pappy
Pumpkinheimer Triplets, Steffy, Effy and Geffy
Eunice Lulu McFribble

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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