Written by Kaleepeare
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Tags: shoes

Thursday, 12 August 2010

Shoe throwing is an art combined with science.To be precise it is an artistic craft to aim and throw a shoe at a selected target,be it a minister, a visiting dignitary or someone you just hate.

Now the first thing is to select a shoe,which is very important. It could be a heavy military boot to hit a heavyweight opponent, or a small ballerina's satin putons.The choice is always to select one according to your target. The heavier the shoe the harder is the effort to aim it correctly,because it is arduous to wvwe it,aim and throw.More so because being heavy it may not go far.The moccasins are lighter but they tend to waver and sway and as such may not hit the target intended. The casual slipper is a better choice because it is easier to take off and throw. It does not require much aiming,just take it off and throw.

The usual formal black shoes that go along very well with black tie outfit are by far the best choice,I think, because they are very difficult to trace back to its owner and because they seldom sway from their intended path.

That having been decided you should now wait for your chance. Stay alert at the corner of the row you are standing or sitting. Wait for your target and take off your intended missile the moment he or she comes into your view. Raise your arm slowly while you make a steady 45 degree turn. When the moment arrives you move your arm in a sudden chopping movement and let go.

The shoe should fly at the speed of approximately seven feet per second to be right on the target. It should hit your target in precisely sixteen seconds if you are at the right spot. That is enough time for you to skip and vanish from the scene.

How to hit whom I shall tell later.Different type of missile for different type of target you know. A boot is not the right choice for a glamorous star and a satin shoe is much much above a filthy blackmailer. So wait for my next article in this series.You may try practising with a slipper in the meantime...Adios.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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