Written by Jean Le Fete
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Saturday, 7 August 2010

image for Bad  Poetry: Is it All That Bad?! Does it Deserve a Corner? Mark Lowton Faces His Future!!

Bad Poetry Corner

Twas 2090 and on Mark's deaf bed
Not a brain cell was stirring
His Blackberry was dead;

All the stock in the Spoof was at a $.99
Per share, with no Bad Poetry Corner
The readers didn't care

When up on the roof there arose such a Clatter
Mark sprung from his bed of nails to see
what was the matter

THen what to his dottering eyes should appear but
Fergus McCarthy and multiple tiny Spoof dears "On Queenie! on Monkey! On Jeanie! On Skoob! On Jalo! On Jesus! On Erskin! On Charpa! On....On....Oh guess I lost the rest at the last pub, damned root beer!

"Fergus McCarthy?!" Mark asked with a leer, "What hell are you doing with my wife's brazeer?

"The fox trot I think" said Fergus quite seriously, "But what I'm really here for is to show you eternity! I am the ghost of The Spoof years past. Here to show you what has been under your nose that you quite frankly passed!"

"I thought that was gas," said Mark fanning the air
"Nope now hold Monkey's tail it has lots of hair"

Fly they did through the underbelly of London, through brothels, through Parliament, and then all of the sudden!
Fergus landed his sleigh on top of a nun, she screamed three hail marys, then out came some fellers.

"No never! Never! NEVER! I've told you before! Bad Poetry doesn't sell, it belongs in the cellar!"

"Is that me?" Mark asked Ferg, but Fergus just smiled, the man was about to step on a child.

"What's this urchin doing here under my feet!? It should not be in this spoof, it belongs in the street!" "I'm sorry sir," said his late assistant, "the orphanage was full..."
"ARE THERE NO PRISONS NO WORKHOUSES?" shouted Mark past

"Man I was BAD." said Mark with glee, I like me. "You've a lot to see", said Fergus sadly. "You'll be visited by one more like me"

With that Fergus vanished into thin air, he was replaced by a giant Teddy bear with Jalopeno breath. "It's off to the future! Vamanos! You old codger!" and he grabbed hold of Mark's hand and leaped to a...

"Dodgers vs Astos game 3010, now search your head, we don't need computers, the internet is now part of us here in the future."

"The Spoof! There's no Spoof" cried Mark getting frantic, "I've looked everywhere," he was starting to panic. "How will I edit? How will I cause havoc? My writers will miss me, without me they're haddock!"

"That smells fishy," said the ghost with a smile, "Why do you suppose you're with me this while? Think Mark Think! I'm just a bear, but it seems to me there's an answer in there!"

"I should've given 'em bad poety corner," he said looking down, "Now its too late for even a writer's lounge."

Then with a flash Mark awoke on a beach, his wife shook him awake, she was such a peach, "Mark wake up your screaming like a school girl! You've had a bad dream, I was afraid you might hurl!" (sorry it rhymes)

"Where's my Blackberry, I must make amends" he turned it on, "YES! It's still 2010!!! And the Spoof! Yes the Spoof, its still there! And I'm editor!"

"I'll just add Poetry Corner! Hee Hee I feel giddy as a school lad, light as a butterfly! Then I'll just write this check to have that writers lounge built onto the pub on the corner. That Fergus will think that I'm mad as a coroner!"

And so it was that bad poetry went for good, it brought a man back from the brink of power and made him realize what he had a flower.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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