Written by Leddy
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Sunday, 11 July 2010

image for Energy Drinks On The Go

For anyone who has been homeless for more than a day, mayonnaise is a real Godsend. It can be acquired at almost all fast food restaurants for free and it provides just enough calories to sustain one's energy level for a few more miserable hours, or until they can scrounge up something else to eat from a dumpster.

Mayonnaise as we all know is most commonly used as a sandwich spread but during my years of experience as an economic refugee, I've discovered that mayonnaise can also be mixed with water to create a splendid substitute for whole milk (it looks that same and tastes the same). It's great on dry cereal, if you're lucky enough to find some.

Whole Milk Substitute - Energy Drink

Ingredients:

One packet of mayonnaise
16 Oz. cold water (medium soda cup)

Mix thoroughly

Fabulous other energy boosting drinks can also be made from packets of mustard and my favorite, ketchup (add salt & pepper and wallah, you have tomato soup). Both of these life saving energy drinks can be made quickly by finding a used soda cup in the trash. Fill the cup with hot water from any restroom sink and mix the contents of the packet in generously (mix to taste). Great on cold mornings!

Bum Apatite

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!
Print this

Share/Bookmark

Go to top