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Sunday, 4 July 2010

image for Isle of Wight News - Self-Serve Checkout Line Problems Do not attempt to scan celery

While bringing a welcome touch of modernity to town the brand new high tech self-service checkout line at the Trashco supermarket on Asda has encountered problems.

Store manager, Reg Jobsworth says "We are pretty high on the new system and are still sorting out the bugs but believe the new hi-tech self service checkout line will ultimately save our customers money by reducing the cost of labour."

"Right now we are encountering long line-ups as customers are getting more familiar with the new system but believe this is only temporary."

"Principally customers have to keep in mind that everything has to have a bar code to get scanned properly. Scanning melons, eggs and fruit such as apples, pears, bananas, kiwi, berries of all sorts and grapefruit repeatedly will only increase the length of the wait for other customers, please use weigh the produce first and enter the code provided at the check-out station. An cheerful assistant will help you, if need be, and assist you with placing your purchse in a clean plastic sack while adding a good word to make your day, I promise."

"Do not attempt to pay for your purchase by scanning your credit card or inserting your health benefits card into the card reader."

"Also, peering down at the scanning device at eye level is extremely dangerous and is not recommended."

"We have had a few customers that have travelled a bit present their passports and photo ID at the scan station as well."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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