Written by Lady Godiva
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Friday, 2 July 2010

image for Isle of Wight News - Annual Newby Marrow Growing Contest Imagine these are huge marrows

Newby - Isle of Wight - The Annual Newby Marrow Growing Contest was held on Saturday and proved, yet again to be an exhilerating event FULL of surprises.

First Prize went to Winston Hornblower III whose prize winning marrow weighed in at whopping 240 lbs.

Second Prize went to Billy Murray whose prize winning marrow weighed in at a hefty 195 lbs.

Third Prize went to Emily Snodgrass whose prize winning marrow weighed in at 13 lbs. (and that included the stalk and a couple of thick leaves which were still attached.)

THE DAY'S EXCITEMENT HAD ONLY JUST BEGUN

Roughly 15 minutes after the prize-winning ceremony the judges had to disqualify Winston Hornblower III's entry as it was found to have been 'nobbled'-by Winston himself (he admitted red-faced).

A youngster from the village was going around the field where the contest was held, and he was using his metal detector to find dropped coins and such.

When he walked by Winston Hornblower III's 'prize winning marrow' his detector went 'wild'. Beeping uncontrollably and drawing crowds from around the field.

Judges decided to examine the marrow more closely and on inspection they noticed a wedge of marrow had, obviously, been removed and replaced as the edges of the 'cut' had begun to turn brownish. On removal of 'said piece' the judges found the marrow had been hollowed out and filled with lots of very heavy rocks and pieces of lead.

Therefore the 'placings' changed.

First Prize went to little Billy Murray

Second Prize went to Emily Snodgrass

Third Prize went to Nelly Epp, whose marrow weighed in at
5 lbs

Winston Hornblower III has been banned for life from ever entering his veggies in local competitions. He's also banned from the local pub and has been kicked off the darts team.

Rumour also has it that he has been cut out of his father's will.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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