Written by victor nicholas
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Thursday, 1 July 2010

image for Isle of Wight News - Psychiatric Patient Walks Out of Local Hospital Jenkins may be eluding capture disguised as Elvis

A psychiatric patient walked out of a local hospital unchallenged and was not missed for several hours, the Wig Standard can reveal.

Ian Jenkins 47 walked out of Seven Acres psychiatric hospital just after midday on Monday June 28 after being granted Section 17 leave.

Island Police immediately launched a manhunt asking members of the public not to approach Jenkins due to his mental state but to contact them, if he is seen.

Mayor Tom Shovel says that this is not the first time that this type of thing has happened and warned Seven Acres administrators to be more careful in the future.

"Once a mental patient gets amongst the local citizenship it is extremely difficult to find him."

Constable Mike Millington reported that twelve suspects were apprehended in the manhunt including two females and one who voluntarily turned himself in.

An angry Mayor Shovel demanded the manhunt be called off after none of the suspects were confirmed to be Mr. Jenkins.

Mayor Shovel says despite poor economic prospects locally the aging workforce The Isle of Wight cannot afford to be placing more able bodied men and women in psychiatric care than those that escaping the treatment they deserve under the mental health act.

A spokesman for Hampshire and IW Police said that they will continue to follow leads that Jenkins is actively working on the island as a professional Elvis impersonator at the Hungry Heifer nightclub where he performs Elvis tunes while wearing Las Vegas style jumpsuits and sunglasses.

Mike Millington say that while Jenkins may have eluded police so far it is only a matter of time before he lets his guard down as an Elvis impersonator and is positively identified and captured.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!
Print this

Share/Bookmark

Go to top