Written by P.M. Wortham
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Tuesday, 29 June 2010

image for Secret Travel Hot Spots: Brussels and the Pissing Boy "Would you care for a White Russian?"

Part five in a series of unique and little known attractions hidden within the world's most popular travel destinations.

One of the most visited attractions within the city centre of Bruxelles (Brussels), Belgium is perhaps the smallest in stature and grandeur. While close up pictures tend to feature the cherub with amazing detail suggesting larger scale, the first time visitor may be shocked to find "The Pissing Boy" standing no taller than 50 centimeters. The young lad known locally by the sculptor's moniker as "Manneken Pis", hides a secret that shall be the focus of our story.

Jerome Duquesnoy must have had an inspiration for function to align with form in his now famous statue, for he had apparently designed Manneken Pis to serve a dual purpose. Though the boy was clearly meant to be a small garden water feature and serves that purpose well, Duquesnoy had apparently built in two mechanical features only recently found by a waiter at the connecting Duquesnoy Café.

The public does not have a clear view of the back of the statue, but that is where the first clue can be found. Aside from the pipe that is embedded within the statue, feeding water to the boy's twig and berries, there is another small pipe connection centered at the boy's rear. Originally thought to be a drainage hole for the lost-wax casting process, has proven to be another pathway to the statue's penis. What appears to be a nugget forming at the boy's anus is really a switching device that changes the feeding water supply.

Jacques DeMarques, head waiter at the Café admits discovering the switch after a few too many White Russians. "Yes, well, the boy has a nicely formed, ah, posterior, and I was just admiring the artist's rendering when I found that the little nugget at the boy's rear pushed inward". When asked why he was fondling the rear of a small boy, DeMarques dodged the question but added, "but I could also hear a small clicking sound coming from the hole above the little nugget".

DeMarques continued to describe how he tested the hole by pouring what was left of his White Russian in the boy's butt, then pushed upward on the nugget. To his admitted amazement, the water to the boy's penis stopped flowing and a trickle of white alcohol dripped through instead. "It was the sexiest thing I had seen in a month", said DeMarques.

Continuing his close and hands on inspection of the artwork, at 4:00 AM of course, DeMarques also discovered another mechanical feature at the front of Manneken Pis. "If you cup his testicles and push upwards, it changes the elevation of the fountain." DeMarques claims that adjusting the statue's nut sack also changes the angle of the fountain stream. "It truly is an amazing statue".

Considered to be a national treasure, tourists are typically not allowed to get close to Manneken Pis, assured mostly by spiked fencing that surrounds the fountain. But, if you visit the Café next to the fountain at closing and ask for Jacques, you may find that a personal tour awaits you, as well as a White Russian served through the small statue's penis. Truly a picturesque moment, and one to be captured for your own personal YouSpace page. No drinking direct from the fountain now, that would be considered to be in poor taste.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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