Written by Anton Block
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Wednesday, 23 June 2010

Heads will roll, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Who's responsible for the debacle? I see five (be)headings and five corresponding penalties:

The coach, Domenech. He will have his eyebrows shaved on prime time TV.

The French Football Federation: the bosses will undergo compulsory lipposuccion.

The players: their Nintendo consoles will be confiscated and access to call-girls denied for 4 years.

The Jabulani ball: will not be sold in France for being too round. The Eu Commission will sue France. France will invoke national security. Newspapers will sell.

Vuvuzelas: will be guillotined in public at place de la Concorde.

France scored one goal, fetched 5 balls in their nets, lost twice and drew once. They will be classified 31st, just in front of North Korea, with a special jury price for parody.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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