Written by victor nicholas
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Saturday, 19 June 2010

image for The Collaboration Part 5 - Two-Bits for Tibet The ten-toe tickle

"I think we srafe hear Nit. No knock knock on door in middle of night wit hands around throat here in cold sweats."

"Right bid daddy boss man you no worries here, all good good, you want cole drink or chockorat?"

"No thank you Nit, a quick shower and I will be right as rain. That stop in Hong Kong was invigorating but it's a curse getting rid of that Cantonese accent and after only two days there, I noticed you picked up a few words as well, Victoria's Peak was worth it though, do you know what time it is my love?"

Nit looked down to one of the many watches she had on her arm from her Hong Kong shopping spree.

"What time zone and lunar cycle would you like" Nit purred in her suddenly improved English, her peaks heaving as she stode towards me, her robe sliding to the floor.

"Well I see you have the time but I don't have the time for that now. I have a wake-up call for five a.m. to meet Erskin in the morning for breakfast."

Nit frowned and walked away. "Not yet another dreary trek through all those difficult words, I thought we were going shopping for more watches, plus you are not as young as you once were, aren't you afraid you might be in a tight spot and your diction might fail you?"

"Yes Nit, an expedition but an expedition like no other, I promise it will be my last, Erskin and I are going to search out and capture the Not-Yeti and you are to come with us and help lure it out of hiding."

"Well that would be something, some say the Not-Yet is no more than a myth, it's never been seen."

"Well that's the secret to it all as I told Erskin I don't believe it's actively been hiding but that it's just a lazy sod of creature."

"You mean a procrastinator?"

"Yes, I'm afraid so."

"Abominable!"

"Quite"

"Pardon me?"

"So sorry big-boss man you want me give you Kama Sutra back rub and ten-toe tickle?"

"If you must my little lotus blossom, but let me carry on."

"I have a plan I hope to tell Erskin about. The creature has been sighted near the base camp to Mount Wobbly lollygagging about and missing scheduled appearances to scare the tourists as expected."

"Do you think he might need a watch?"

"Yes, yes, yes, that is exactly the right thing to do, a little more to the right, that's much better thank you."

"So do think that is all that is needed is a watch?"

"Yes, yes you may be onto something, there is no shortage of tourists to scare and they cannot carry on being disappointed like this. Soon they will be starting to go to Tailand."

"Hairy buggers aren't they and a foul smell too, Pee oo-un kun rip-blau?"

"I'm sorry, do you want me to roll over?"

"No", she laughed as she began the ten-toe tickle, "Tell me more have you thought of the tygers?"

"Damn nuisance those Tibetan tygers, can't get rid of them, always jumping up to take a banana out of your hand and have their picture taken with you."

"You know you can't get through to base camp unless you find a way to deal with them."

I started to laugh uncontrollably as the ten-toe tickle started to take effect.

"Well that's where my two-bits comes in . . ."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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