Written by j.w.
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this
Tags: French

Friday, 18 June 2010

image for Oh la la! There are things you can do about that

'Our French teacher was terrible, today' complained Penelope to her mother.

'Football again, I suppose' shrugged Sylvia Smythe.

'Yes. What a stupid game. And my French teacher is a woman. You'd think she'd know better.'

'Women are trying to be like men now, darling'.

'Not me. I don't want a cock!' Penelope exploded. 'The best thing about French is the swearing. They have this great word merde - it means shit but it is a far better sound. Merrrde!'

'I hope you learn one or two other words, darling'.

'Mummy. Have you ever had "a one night stand?"'

'Why on earth are you asking me that?'

'Well, my friend Barbarella said her mother mentioned she had a "one night stand" once. Standing up all night!'

'That's not the only thing that was standing up' chipped in Sebastien, Penelope's brother, who thought he knew everything.

'Look, you two, that's quite enough of that. Anyway, Penelope a "one night stand" is when a couple get together for sex for just one night.'

'Then they find that's quite enough, I suppose' Penelope mused.

'That could be'.

'Mummy, does Daddy "get it up" any longer?'

'Really darling. That's a private matter.'

'No then.'

'It is not no. It is our business.'

'It wasn't when you started me.'

'True.'

'So, Daddy still "gets it up?"'

'Why do you ask?'

'Well, my friend Barbarella says her mother was complaining to her Aunt Agatha that her husband doesn't "get it up" any longer. She seemed upset.'

'There are things that can be done about that.'

'I know, I've seen Sebastien looking at them on the internet.'

'No, I mean medicine's'

'I should have thought it would be a relief for a wife if a husband couldn't "get it up" any longer. That ugly prick!'

'So you knew all along what it meant?'

'Yes, I was just seeing if you did'.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!
Print this

Share/Bookmark

Go to top