Written by Lady Godiva
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Sunday, 6 June 2010

image for 10 Things We Can Expect From The New Apple iPhone New Apple iPhone soon to be unveiled

Below are ten things we can expect from the new Apple iPhone:

1) It will be able to pick out the winner of next year's Britain's Got Talent if you know which buttons to push

2) It will be able to operate your home appliances by remote control, making life much easier for those who can't put the damn iPhone down

3) It will be able to babysit your young ones, feeding them nutritious snacks while you twitter and tweet

4) It will have the ability to navigate you through life, over speedbumps that can rock your world

5) The new iPhone will be able to perform hetrosexual and same-sex marriages at the press of a button

6) The new iPhone will be able to 'charge' itself, saving you the hassle of doing so

7) One of the new apps. is the ability to write a best selling novel in two days and have it on shelves in bookstores worldwide within 4 days

8) It will be slimmer and smaller than the current iPhone - about the size of a postage stamp

9) The new Apple iPhone is designed to self-destruct after 30 days, when it is anticipated the new Apple iPhone will be unveiled

10) Apple designers have given iPhone owners a choice - it is edible and, therefore'you can eat it 24 hours before it is due to self-destruct - it is full of fibre and vitamins. A nutritious treat for your body but a destructive device for your social life.

Rush out and order yours today! (IF you want to lose the ability to interact with REAL people.)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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