Written by Mike Monpas
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Sunday, 30 May 2010

image for Bush Officially Off the Hook for Everything

Along with a shot of Jack Daniels and a cold Budweiser, former President George W. Bush received the news at a local drinking establishment known affectionately as, "The Cock and Bull."

A Fed-Ex courier walked through the doors and saw the former president sitting alone at a corner table.

"The waitress handed him a shot of Jack, which he downed right away," said Steve Jones of Federal Express. "Then he seemed to shift his attention between the beer and the Texas Rangers baseball game that was on the T.V."

Putting his best foot forward, the Fed-Ex courier walked directly to the table and handed an envelope to the former Commander in Chief. He was about to walk away, when Bush asked him to sit down and have a beer.

"I was about to just get out of there and do my other deliveries, but when a former President asks you to have a beer with him, by God, you sit down and have a beer with him," said Jones.

Bush opened the envelope, and read the first few lines.

"All of a sudden," said Jones, "his face broke out into this big grin. I've never seen the poor guy so happy. The next thing I knew he was standing up, hooping and hollering, telling everyone that the drinks would be on him for the rest of the day, or until Laura sends the Sheriff out for him."

The Fed-Ex delivery driver took a look at the letter resting on the table. "It was from the Office of the President of the United States," said Jones. "It said, by Executive Order, due to recent events, that George W. Bush would no longer be the official scapegoat for past, present, or future disasters. I think it also said something about all future blame to be placed on the Eisenhower Administration, or something like that."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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