Written by Lady Godiva
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Sunday, 9 May 2010

image for Billy Connolly on Chelsea's win and Susan Boyle Billy Connolly's stunt double

Och! Well...what canna say aboot the wee boys in blue?

They sure deserved ta win today. Arv sure been busy lately with all ma concerts, films an' stuff, bu' A just luv ta watch the fitball.

A was watching the match wi' sum o' me gud frends an enjoyin' a glass o' heavy an' a wee fish supper, as yer dee.

Christ Almighty wo' a freaking game. 7 - 0. Oh! Christ! A believe it was 8 - 0. Shit...were Wigan even ON the field? (CHORTLE!) Poor wee laddies shoulda just stayed in the change rooms (CHUCKLE).

A just heard tha' tha' wee bonnie lass, Susan Boyle, is mecking a second CD. Gud luck te her A say. A do hear tho' that 'er wee daft brothers are trying to knuckle in a bit on 'er success. Stupid farts. Back off A tell ye or the Big Yin'll be after yers both! Nae goods gonna cum o' it boys.

Thank Christ MY family didn't come and try to jump on MY bandwagon. They were all TOO BLOODY ASHAMED TO ADMIT THEY KNEW ME. That proved to be a Godsend as you can imagine.

Well....Arv gotta go and do another wee 'set'. Talk later.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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