Written by bubblyian
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Thursday, 29 April 2010

Malcolm Hurlston of the Consumer Credit Counselling Service proposed today that clients should have to pass an exam before being allowed a mortgage.

Here at Spoofnews, we have obtained a draft copy of some of the exam questions:

Dodgy Back Street Lender:

Please answer all of the following questions by circling the appropriate answer:

1) Would you like a mortgage? Yes

Reputable High Street Lender:

Please answer all of the following questions by circling the appropriate answer:

1) Would you like to buy a property? YES/NO

2) Would you like to give commission to our salesman for selling you a mortgage? YES

3) Would you like to further help our salesman's family with commission on a payment protection insurance policy, which might (if you are extremely lucky) pay out if you are unable to work through illness or redundancy and is a compulsory part of the purchase? YES

Government-owned Banks

Please answer all of the following questions by circling the appropriate answer:

Sorry - we have no money to lend to you - If you have money to lend to us, then please say yes now and we will be round to collect it in the middle of the night? - YES

We look forward to seeing the repossession figures jump further - along with bank profits and bonuses.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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