Written by WhoAreYouAll
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Wednesday, 14 April 2010

image for Here Comes The Crazy: A Step By Step Guide To Dealing With Insanity

Before we get started, first we need solidify the source of the belief that you're insane. Did some one tell you? If so, then they're probably wrong cause they're idiots. Chances are you're crazy when you start hallucinating and/or have killed someone. But it's not the end of the world. You don't have to start making unneeded sacrifices just because you ended up in a psych ward over a tiny little death. Presenting a brand new easy step by step guide to dealing with hallucinations and inappropriate impulses to kill.

Step 1: Let go of your fear of the inanimate objects threatening your life

It's all a hallucination. They can't eat your brains no matter how hard they seem to try. So might as well enjoy the entertainment hallucinating provides. If you keep it to yourself, you'll never be bored ever again. They might start talking to you. And then they might start talking like hipsters or facebook sluts because of their lack of brain. This is strictly worst case scenario because frankly anyone who has to listen to that shit all day has no chance.

Step 2: If you don't see a mouth don't respond.

You won't believe how talking to yourself winds up a normal persons butthole quicker than mentions of penile damages. So the quickest way to tell if you're hearing things or someone's really talking to you is to look around the room. If there is someone there but no one is talking, then you might not want to answer. But if the room is empty, go ahead and respond. Most of the time these pretend conversations are more interesting the ones with actual people.

Step 3: Stray from whipping out weapons in public

Taking out a weapon will probably evolve into going into the police department and having to get a mental evaluation. Avoid these at all costs. Trust me.

Step 4: Drugs to help

Alcohol is proven to help, but only when immensely drunk. So what you want to do is start drinking as early as possible. And stop when you pass out, every day for about 10 weeks. By the end of said 10 weeks you'll either be dead or cured. Though even if you miss a single day, the results may be altered. doing meth though only takes about 10 days of extreme high to get you cured. So pick whatever, and soon you won't be as crazy, if crazy at all.

Step 4: DON"T GO TO FACEBOOK.
Facebook is mentally and physically dangerous to any person but to a unstable person? It's a death sentence.

Loser teenagers desperately grasping at the ideal of having more friends than their popular counterparts on the internet. Everyone trying to imitate how they think cool people act so they can get girls through facebook. Facebook is where idiots come to look smart. Well, no one is falling for your facade. Being articulate doesn't mean you're smart. You just have better ways of expressing your stupid ideas and ideals. Oh, and did I mention 90% of the girls on facebook qualify for mental retardation. Seriously, they try to be "edgy" but end of being fucking stupid and unfunny. Dummies. Oh, and the guidos! Holy crap, those idiots are annoying. Screw them.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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