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Thursday, 8 April 2010

image for Measles Is Brain-washing Paranoid Parents Into Not Vaccinating Children!

The truth is out there and this intrepid reporter has found it whispering in her ear. My children's well check appointments are coming up, including the always painful vaccinations. But I am finding that little viruses and bacteria are telling me to not vaccinate, because it will cause Autism.

I only noticed that they were whispering these scare tatics in my ear when I had a dream and they were life size and kept saying "Don't give them shots, how can pain be good? Don't vaccinate or your kids will get AUTISM!!!"

I woke up in a sweat, screaming. My preschoolers had to calm me down.

The ringleader of the disease Outreach=Outbreak program is Measles. Which originally whispered into the ear of idiotic doctor Andrew Wakefield in the UK, who saw that four kids with Autism also got the MMR Vaccine - so there is a link! It didn't help the Measles was also whispering "you could win the Nobel Prize for Medicine for this!"

These evil diseases have already found a celebrity mouthpiece in Jenna McCarthy. She is convinced about her son becoming Autistic from the MMR Vaccine, and is also convinced that she was able to cure him through chelation therapy (a scientifically unproven method). During the whole time, Measles was whispering in her ear "This will make you famous without having to show your boobies." and "I have Oprah Winfrey on line one." Her famous line about the science of Autism "my son is my evidence" shows that no amount of real science will convince that Mom of anything.

In subsequent nightmares which have shown me all the evidence I need to be a paranoid parent (the internet has been very informative, but not very helpful) and showed me the seduction of the doctor and Ms. McCarthy into the Outreach=Outbreak family. Now Measles and its friends have had "Pox Parties" all across Europe and the United States.

The conspiracy has been exposed, damn you Measles!!!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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