Written by Lady Godiva
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Wednesday, 7 April 2010

image for Mary Potter and the Tempest in Her Womb  Part 2 Sherwood Forest

Mary Potter awoke from her restful sleep to a Dawn chorus. As she opened her pretty blue eyes she saw before her a vision which filled her with joy. Dawn French accompanied by some of her cast members from the Vicar of Dibley were singing her favourite hymn. "Onward Christian Soldiers".

Mary smiled sweetly and when they had finished, Dawn sat bent down and gently asked Mary, "What is a sweet young thing like you doing alone in the woods? For meneth do roameth these woods and doeth strangest things to young maidens when they findeth a young maiden alone.'

Mary told the 'chorus' her story in detail. They listened intently, hanging on her every word, one old bugger was drooling down his matted beard as she retold her story. Each member of the chorus, having different thoughts racing through their minds.

One of the women, an elderly woman, slight of build and wearing a crocheted hat, handed Mary a kipper, pickle and chocolate sandwich. Mary sniffed it, the smell immediately cleared her blocked sinuses and she told the old woman she'd save it for later, carefully putting into a pocket in her skirt. It immediately attracted a number of flies, which Mary tried to shoo away.

"Foresooth, shooeth flies," she whispered to them, not wanting to attract more attention to her pocket.

On hearing her story one of the gentleman, sporting a scruffy beard said, "No, no, no, no, yes, yes, no,no. One of my bitches just pupped. I know what you are going through, yes, yes, no,no, maybe not, now I come to think of it. No I don't."

Just then Armo appeared, causing Alice - one of Dawn's chorus, to scream and jump behind Dawn, cowering and whimpering, "Foresooth vicar maketh it go away! Maketh it go away! It's uglier and scarier than anthing else I have every seenth, and that includeth Jim Carey in The Mask and The Joker in Batman."

Arlo himself was somewhat shocked to see the Dawn chorus.
He was bemused and curious too as he wasn't used to seeing 'normal' folk in this part of the forest. Also he wondered where the stench was coming from which curled over the long hairs poking out of his nose and upwards through his oversized nostrils.

He had, as promised, drawn up a plan to help Mary with her plight which involved Sir Phooksalot and her unborn child.

Mary waited breathlessly and with some excitement, anxiously awaiting the outcome of this strange meeting as she continued to shoo flies away from her skirt pocket, wondering all the while if Arlo had indeed been working on a plan to help her in her search for true love and happiness.

We waiteth the next Part as Mary's story continueth to unfold.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!
Print this

Share/Bookmark

Go to top ^