Written by Tawdry Soup
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Sunday, 28 March 2010

image for Customer Service Calumniator Castrates Cocky Customer

Easy going Dirt Farmer, Joe Smith, recently ran into a testicular tilt-a-whirl when he crossed paths with customer service Rep. Shania Twillis after calling his local rural electric co-op about a late fee and disconnection notice:


Time 11:57 A:M

Ring Ring…"Co-op…."

"Ahh yes, hello young lady, this is Joe Smith out at the Green Briar Farm, and I'm thinking there might be a mistake on my account. I just received a disconnection notice and a letter that says ya'll charged me a 25 dollar late fee. I wanted to let you know that you cashed my check before the due date on the original bill which I'm showing here is March 15. I am sorry to bother you about this but…"

"Who is this again?"

"This is Joe Smith at.."

"Hold Please.." muffled coughing, "Ok, now what can I do for you Mr. Jones?"

"This is Joe Smith at.."

"I thought you said your name was Mr. Jones.."

"No, YOU said my name was Mr. Smith, MY name is Mr. Jones. I mean..."

"Ok, Mr. Jones what's the problem?"

"It's Smith. Smith is the name, I've been a customer of 40 years and never been late and here is a late fee and a disconnection…"

"Hold, Please…" muffled sound of woman talking followed by catty laughter directly into the phone.

"OK, Mr. Smith" It's like this, I process the payments on the day I get them and apparently I did not get yours when you said you mailed it."

"But you cashed it before the due date."

"Are you getting abrupt with me, Mr. Jones? If you're getting abrupt with me I am going to hang up right now…what will it be Mr. Jones?..."

"The name's Smith for God's sakes, it's Smith."

"Did you just use the G word?"

Dial Tone…..

Smith, "Hello?"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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