Written by IainB
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Sunday, 21 March 2010

image for Dream Diarist: Jonathan Ross I'm Rich!!!

Dear Dream Diarist, please could you explain my dream.

I was at an ATM withdrawing twenty pounds, when I noticed that there was a lot of money stuck in the slot. I collected my twenty pounds and this extra money and put them into my wallet. As I was meeting my friend Damien (I don't know anybody called Damien, I do know a Damian, if that helps), I popped into the café where were meeting, and as I was explaining about the money, Jonathan Ross burst into the café with a camera crew and accused me of being a thief and he demanded that I handed the money back.

This made me very angry, and I explained to (okay, shouted at) him that I had taken the money so that I could hand it in at the police station, I had not gone immediately there because I didn't want my friend to think he'd been stood up. I couldn't hand it in at the bank, because it was Saturday, and if I'd been stealing over two hundred quid, why would have I still withdrawn my own twenty? I told him I didn't believe the money was his, and if he wanted it back, he'd have to go to the police station to collect and prove it was his.

This was where my dream ended. As far as I can see, I was being a good citizen, but what does it all mean?

Yours Miss Charity Pelling

Well Charity, this dream means that you are gay. But in a good way. And like the rest of the British public, you want to smack Jonathan Ross around the face with a wad of his own money. Good luck to you Charity!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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