Written by PP Rega
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Thursday, 18 March 2010

image for British Airways asks for sacrifices from their Premier-Elite Passengers

British Airways is trying to counter an upcoming cabin-crew strike by enlisting their Premier-Elite passengers to accept certain "sacrifices" in order to save on expenses.

Here is what BA is asking their extra-special, pampered passengers to do:

* Learn what each dining utensil is used for and then bring it.

* Pack their own chlorine if they want to use the hot tub.

* Bring their own condoms for the BA Mile-High Club.

* Pay an extra 125 euros for any accompanying blow-up mannikins.

* Pay an extra loading fee after the eighteenth piece of luggage.

* Bring a Thai-English dictionary since the stewards and stewardesses will be 12-year-old natives rescued from the brothels of Bangkok.

* Supply their own lip balm since the damask linen napkins will be replaced by Kleenex.

* Download maps from Mapquest for the location of the on-board toilets.

* Prior to boarding, it is recommended to develop a taste for caviar from Perth Amboy, NJ.

* Learn to wipe their own asses.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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