Written by p.doff
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Tags: gift, Rubbish

Monday, 1 March 2010

image for Useless Gifts 3 : The Barbie Laptop For Kids

The website says this about Barbie's Laptop: "With this Barbie laptop, children get tutored by Barbie in essential first and second stage skills."

Yeah, I think that's because that's as far as the stupid bitch got. Tell me, when someone mentions the phrase "intelligent toy," does Barbie even pretend to cross your mind before you get bored and stop caring? Of course not. Having Barbie teach little girls how to add is like letting Godzilla rebuild Tokyo.

Any little girl that tries to learn anything from Barbie is going to come out a lot dumber and will probably only say things like, "Pink is my favorite color," "When I grow up, I'm working for tips," and, "BUY ME THAT NOW!!!!" But on second thought, anyone who buys this for their little girl or effeminate boy probably isn't a surgeon or currently inventing the Pleasure-Helmet 8000.

More than likely, the parents probably spend most of their time at work cleaning the pee off of the floor of a stadium bathroom or they're in their tenth year of giz-mopping at strip clubs.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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