Written by p.doff
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Tags: Rubbish

Friday, 26 February 2010

I can't imagine ever having a pressing need for labels on everything.

I admit I did have a mini label maker once, and it was fun making a label that said, "PENIS," or, "INSERT COCK HERE," and putting them on my friends' faces when they passed out, and for a while my old TV remote commanded everyone who picked it up to "SMOKE POT AND WORSHIP SATAN," but I've never really needed to label anything.

If I really wanted to know what was in a box, I can still write on it with a marker. Or open it. I've never been packing things into boxes and said, "Wait a minute! How will I know what I have in this box when I unpack it in three days? I know - I'll label it! Now, how can I go about labeling something? Egads! I need a label maker! I NEED A LABEL MAKER NOW!!!"

No. A label maker is a shitty gift.You thoughtless asshole

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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