Written by Earl Grey
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Saturday, 20 February 2010

image for The Portrait of Dorian Grey's Russian Girlfriend Always check the best before date

Dorian Grey was was an attractive man. He could have his pick of women from any nation. He had chosen Olga Ogleova, a statuesque Russian beauty with flashing green eyes and long blond hair.

One cold dark winter's morning Dorian was heading to catch the bus to work. At the bus stop a large crowd had gathered. Dorian pulled his ear flaps down to keep out the chill. It was then that he noticed one of the toothless old hags. This babooshka had flashing green eyes. She had no teeth and weighed about twenty stone. Her face was covered in warts. There was something familiar about her.

Yes, this was his Olga, aged some fifty years. Dorian was shocked. Could this really be what he will end up with? Is this his destiny? Dorian swallowed hard and shoved the old bat out of the way and boarded the bus. "I am not going to let this happen. Next time Olga mentions the boob job I'll give her the money for it."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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