Written by Peter M
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Wednesday, 13 April 2005

image for Big Troubles for Bubbles Monkey business?

Today the Michael Jackson trial took another bizarre turn as Michael's pet chimpanzee Bubbles was called to the witness stand. The defense asked for Bubbles to testify, stating that his description of the actual events that took place in 2003 would prove Michael Jackson innocence beyond any reasonable doubt.

Bubbles, a keen player and tickler, was involved in many of the pillow fights and play fights that took place on Jackson's ranch. He was also renowned and revered throughout Neverland for his skilful ability to administer a killer wedgie to any unsuspecting victim. Jackson's lawyer Thomas Mesereau alleged that it was Bubble's hands and feet that came into contact with any inappropriate areas during these frequent playful encounters, not Jackson’s.

Under heated cross-examination questioning by District Attorney Tom Sneddon, Bubbles appeared agitated and nervous. At one point he threw his hands over his eyes and howled when talk turned to an all night session of Twister held on the giant neon chessboard at the back of Jackson's ranch. The DA's assistant managed to calm Bubbles down with a banana, but not before he was given his own courtroom killer wedgie to remember the day by.

After questioning finished, Bubbles leapt out of his seat and did an impromptu moonwalk in front of the cheering and clapping jury. However things ended on a low note when Bubbles stopped in front of a clearly outraged judge Rodney Melville and bared his backside at him.

Jackson, at the time engaged in a tickling fight with his lawyer Thomas Mesereau, was heard laughing, "Now that's what I call a real moonwalk."

The trial is set to continue today, and it not expected that there will be any further interruptions to proceedings.

Thomas Mesereau commented to the awaiting media that it was quite possible that Bubbles would be called back to the witness stand in the near future.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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