Written by Ken MacWilliams
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Sunday, 3 April 2005

Punxsutawney, PA.

Local woman says the Internet has given new meaning to her life. Mary Helen McFlugle of Pine Street, Punxsutawney has found a new purpose in life- helping others in chat rooms and forums on the Internet.

“As soon as I get home from my shift down at the Dollar Store, I am sitting in front of my computer trying to find some lost soul who needs a little advice.” Mary Helen tells us from her well-worn kitchen chair sitting in front of her Dell PC.

“Like just last night I found a woman in a chat room having trouble paying for her kid’s baby-sitter for the few hours after school when they would be home alone. She has two boys and a little girl. Adorable kids, she has their pictures posted on her profile. I told “Ineedhelp”, that with kids as cute as hers she has nothing to worry about. Many people now adays have more money than brains, and are willing to pay a lot (and I mean A LOT) of money for pictures of kids. I guess they are men and women with big offices in the big city that want pictures of kids to put around their office, so that their lives don’t look so lonely and empty. It’s sad, but that’s a whole other story.” Mary Helen said drinking a sip of her hot tea.

“I don’t get paid for my advice, but it is still a whole lot more rewarding than telling people where the toilet paper is down at the Dollar Store. I like to think about how I helped that poor woman and her children get the help they needed.” Mary Helen said as she sat her glasses down on her small desk and pointed to her heart. “It just feels good here to help others any way I can. That’s payment enough for me.”

If you know of a hometown hero doing great things around town without getting the credit they deserve, let us know for our weekly hometown hero feature article.

Ken MacWilliams

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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