A former Prime Minister of Great Britain is seeking a few brave men (and women - but men, really) to take care of his safety while he earns many millions of pounds sterling as a lecturer and motivational speaker.
Mr Bliar - for it is he - needs protection.
The attack can come from anywhere and at any moment.
14 security personnel are required to be present at every meeting between Mr Bliar and Lord Mangelson (Business Secretary and Minister with a Finger In Every Pie) as they try to work out a plan to bring the Dark Lord back to the House of Commons as Prime Minister.
34 bodyguards are required to monitor the breakfast table situation when "our Cherie" daily lambasts "our Tony" with his failure to prevent investigation of his alleged war crimes.
It is anybody's guess how many guards will be required to protect Saint Tony from the populace following his evidence to the Iraq Inquiry - but I bet you this - the fucker will not pay for them from his own pocket!