Written by Lila Croft
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Tuesday, 1 July 2003

image for Microsoft - bringing the Apocalypse closer to home Bill Gates - Death bringer!

Psychologists have finally proved that Microsoft (hereafter known as Evil-M) are true; it really is destroying humankind as we know it.

The frustration, which occurs when the computers crash, can well up, leading us to have rotten days, taking it out on others, leading to overall low morale. This can also lead to road rage, which in turn damages the environment and causes accidents, which are often fatal.

The overheating can also contribute to global warming, not to mention the amount of radiation given off which could potentially convert all users into unhealthy mutants.

And then we come to the problem of overpurchase. When our computers bugger up, we don't just give up, instead we purchase more components in a futile attempt to make the stupid things work. This can lead to high levels of consumption in the economy, increasing the demand and so therefore the inflation rates increase rapidly and the prices shoot up. There is a risk of this turning to hyperinflation, similar to what happened in Germany around the time of the second world war. To buy a low-quality mouse, we would need a wheelbarrow full of money.

This turn of events would turn all humans into capitalists, which would deprive others, leading most countries to poverty and finally death. We would all be power-hungry, and would lose all the good parts about us. This will eventually lead to the end of the human race.

Unless............

Yes, there is a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel. That glimmer contains a penguin as one of its symbols. I am of course talking about Linux, which rarely crashes. If the majority of us switch to Linux then the extent of this problem would be minimal at best.

As the great Morpheus says "there is a difference between knowing the path, and walking the path."
You know the path, just take that first step.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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