Written by NickFun
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Monday, 5 October 2009

image for I Promise My Toothpaste Won't Explode Perhaps a sniff test would have proven this is just a tube of toothpaste

Recently I was on a flight from LA to Chicago. Without thinking, I brought my large tube of toothpaste. It made it through checkout at LAX with no trouble. I brought it to Chicago, happily brushed my teeth with it several times over the course of four days and all was right with the world.

However, on the way back, a sharp-eyed security man at O'Hare saw the monstrous tube. "Sir, we must take that from you", he said

I was dumbfounded. "My toothpaste?" I asked incredulously. "Why do you have to take my toothpaste?"

"It's too large sir. You are only permitted to travel with travel size toothpaste".

I was a bit belligerent. "It wasn't a danger in Los Angeles!"

He was insistent. "Sir, give us the toothpaste or we'll have to get some security people here".

He took my toothpaste and threw it in a large plastic trash can. I managed to glance inside the can and saw it stacked with shampoos, toothpastes, deodorants and several other bottles I could not immediately identify.

Now, assuming all these items were indeed cleverly designed explosives, why was the trash can right next to the place where thousands of people check their bags every hour? Shouldn't a bomb disposal expert have been called in every time this man confiscated toiletries? If only one of those 'explosives' went off it would surely create a chain reaction that would set off all the other tubes in the can thus resulting in an enormous explosion that would result in massive death and destruction!

Undoubtedly, the can was later picked up by a maintenance worker and dumped outside without so much as a dog sniffing it to make sure it's safe. Thus, the dumpster could have exploded!

Is there something wrong here or is it me?

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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