Written by Armedus Chunsky
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Saturday, 8 August 2009

image for President Bill Clinton To Kim Jong-il: "Care for a Cigar?" Bill Clinton: "There was an underground blast, alright."

By freeing two American journalists from the clutches of Kim Jong-il, former U.S. president Bill Clinton has transformed his image, and perhaps has permanently altered his reputation.

For days, the mainstream media has been hammering the former president for answers on how he negotiated the release of two American journalists from the rouge nation of North Korea.

This TheSpoof.com writer, Armedeus Chunsky, sat down with President Clinton to get the exclusive scoop.

AC: Thank you for taking the time to speak with me, President Clinton.

BC: Really, the pleasure is all mine.

AC: Than why are you dry humping my leg?

BC: Oh, well then, I guess the pleasure isn't ALL mine.

AC: True, Mr. President. Anyway, the world wants to know, how did you free those journalists?

BC: It was quite simple, really. I looked Kim Jong-il straight in the eyes and told him that if he did not release the hostages, I would send Hillary.

AC: Ha Ha. Okay, all joking aside Mr. President...

BC: [Silence] [Cough]

AC: Ahem, moving on. So you mentioned that there was a cigar involved.

BC: Now, it's not what you think. We just had a manly conversation over some whiskey and cigars. In fact, I asked him politely if he would care for a cigar, and before I knew it, we were making real progress.

AC: And what was your next thought?

BC: Hey, I couldn't do any worse than Monica. Am I right fellas?

AC: Mr. President, forgive me for being curious, but did you have relations with Kim Jong-il that were inappropriate?

BC: Look, you have to do what you have to do. Anyway, he was wearing a pantsuit and it reminded me...

AC: That's quite enough, Mr. President. Thank you for you time.

BC: There was an underground blast, alright.

AC Mr. President!

BC: What did I do?

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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