Written by Blazing Saddle
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Tuesday, 21 July 2009

image for Tax - Good Innit? Crumbs! That's what's left for me!

We are encouraged to earn money by working.

The money we earn by working is taxed as a proportion of income.

We are allowed to spend our after-tax income as we please. Unless you want to buy something the government does not really approve of.

Of course, it is only fair that the government gets a slice of the cake from the business that pays your wages - Corporation tax.

While you are spending gaily your after-tax income, it is taxed by VAT and other revenues such as tobacco tax, road tax, BBC TV licence tax, Petrol tax, alcohol tax, betting tax, speed camera tax, (sorry, safety camera tax "sorry officer, how safe was I being"?) insurance premium tax, council tax amongst others.

Of course, a grateful government, considerate of our health would want us looked after - hence National Insurance tax.

Just in case you are getting above yourself, the government reserves the right to raid your pension fund in much the same way as a 1930's denizen of the Gorbals might have raided his gas meter.

But in the end, there is no need to fear - if you have too much left over, there is always inheritance tax.

Oh, and your funeral was taxed at the general VAT rate!

And the disposal of your ashes had better be within national guidelines - or they will call you back from the grave to pay tax.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!
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