Written by timothylock
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Monday, 20 July 2009

Are you getting a bit sick of hearing about Michael Jackson in the news? For me it's been bouncing between I've heard enough, and I want to hear some more because I can't get enough of all the fucked up shit that's being uncovered!

At times like these I could take the easy path and make cheap jokes about any of the countless stereotypes that spring to mind when you think of him. But I think he deserves better, so I want to remember Michael Jackson in the way that you probably do as well, not for his bizarre appearance or behavior.

Let's remember him for what he's most famous for! Being unarguably the world's most talented and influential pedophile ever!

Sure, I'll admit that molesting children is like Marmite, it's not for everyone! But there's nothing the King of Pop loved more than playing with school boys, in fact the only thing he liked better than the actual kiddie fiddling was getting away with it and being found not guilty of the child molestation charges! But as Michael joked with his legal team after his acquittal, "not guilty isn't the same as innocent!"

Some readers may be sitting there in judgment and thinking "ooh, too soon" he's not even been buried yet! But I say, it's not too soon, and I'm sure Michael would agree with me if he were here, because for him it was NEVER too soon! Even when his closest advisors would say "MJ, that boy's only twelve! You can't do that!" He'd casually dismiss them with wave of his sequined gloved hand and say in his famous high pitched whisper, "I don't care."

You see, pop music can go out of style and be forgotten, but the permanent physical and emotional scarring from grossly inappropriate sexual conduct between a grown man and a child will last for a lifetime! Can the same be said for the nonsensical phrase "Ma Ma Se,Ma Ma Sa, Ma Ma Coo Sa"? I think not!

So let's raise a glass of Jesus juice, grab our crotches and say, here's to you Michael Jackson, King of Pop, and more importantly The People's Pedophile!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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