Written by PP Rega
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Tuesday, 30 June 2009

image for Bernie Madoff Checks Out His Next Home for the Next 150 Years

Bernie Madoff: What's that?

Guard: That's your new home, 983867.

Bernie: It's only one room!

Guard: But it's very efficient. You can eat, read, sleep, take a crap without exerting yourself.

Bernie: You mean that's my bed?

Guard: Yep.

Bernie: Sheets?

Guard: Yep.

Bernie: How many threads per square inch?

Guard: Two.

Bernie: But I have tender skin!

Guard: Yeah, a couple of the inmates noticed. Particularly, Well-Hung Harry. I wouldn't bend over for the soap if I were you.

Bernie: And that?

Guard: What?

Bernie: That contraption with the hole.

Guard: Your toilet.

Bernie: You mean that's where I'm supposed to do number 1 and 2?

Guard: And 3 and 4 for all I care.

Bernie: But there's no seat.

Guard: Make believe. You're good at that.

Bernie: But the toilet paper has wood splinters in it!

Guard: That's a present from the warden. He lost $3.6 million from your Ponzi scheme.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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