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Wednesday, 3 June 2009

WHY DOES PARLIAMENT EXIST?

It's a building crammed full of around 600 slimy horse thieves, who would steal your horse if you had one, and spend all day, every day, half-inching everything they can get their hands on

ARE LABOUR MPs THE WORST CULPRITS?

They're all at it

WHAT ELSE DO MPs DO TO JUSTIFY THEIR HUGE SALARIES AND EXPENSES CLAIMS?

Absolutely nothing. If Parliament had closed a year ago, who would have noticed?

IF MAJOR DEFENCE DECISIONS ARE MADE IN WASHINGTON DC, AND ALL OTHER ONES IN BRUSSELS, WHAT IS THE POINT OF THE UK PARLIAMENT?

Exactly

BLEARS, BLAIR, SMITH, PRESCOTT, ALL PROVEN LIARS AND THIEVES STILL IN THEIR JOBS. WHERE ARE THE FRAUD SQUAD?

On holiday, apparently

IN ANY OTHER PART OF BRITAIN, BLEARS ET AL WOULD BE FIRED AND PROSECUTED FOR FRAUD, IF NOT GAOLED. WHY ARE MPs LET OFF WITH THIS?

Because where else could we send all the lowest forms of pond life to get rid of them? A farmyard full of animals would have more intelligence than Parliament, and certainly produce more practical policies, but at least we know where the vermin are, to keep an eye on them

WHAT WILL HAPPEN AT THE NEXT GENERAL ELECTION?

The mugs that vote will vote out all the crooks and swindlers that have been in the news, and vote in more sanctimonious crooks and swindlers, who will be caught out in more scandals in five years' time

WHY BOTHER TO VOTE THEN?

Don't

WHY ALLOW YOUR TAXES TO FUND THESE PARASITES?

Become self-employed, and refuse to allow it

WOULDN'T THAT MEAN MPs WOULD ALL LOSE THEIR S0-CALLED JOBS?

Hopefully

AND WHAT ABOUT THOSE POOR BBC AND ITN JOURNALISTS, THEY MIGHT FACE REDUNDANCIES

Awww, maybe they should go and earn a real living like the other 45 million people in Britain, instead of presenting endless non-stories about MPs getting caught stealing. The internet means nobody needs them any more. A bit like MPs

IF PARLIAMENT WAS (HOPEFULLY) CLOSED FOR EVER, WHAT COULD WE DO WITH THE BUILDING?

Turn it into a Victorian workhouse, and have fun watching the slimy, lying, thieving, sorry excuses for human beings there actually doing some real work. Volunteers for overseers would top 45 million people

IS GORDON BROWN THE WORST PRIME MINISTER IN HISTORY?

Yes

IS DAVID CAMERON THE WORST TORY LEADER IN HISTORY?

Yes

WHO ARE THE LIB DEMS?

No idea

WHY IS THE UNITED KINGDOM SPLITTING UP?

Ask Alex Salmond

OUT OF A HOUSE FULL OF LIARS, CHEATS, SWINDLERS AND CROOKS, WHICH ONE EASILY STANDS OUT AS THE WORST AND MOST HYPOCRITICAL?

The Right Honourable MP for West Belfast, Gerry Adams, who refuses to take his seat in Parliament but claims over £800,000 from it to host endless wine and cheese parties. And doesn't refuse a free luxury London flat. Or free air fares

IS THAT THE END OF THE Q & A's?

Yes

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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