Written by matwil
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Wednesday, 3 June 2009

image for The Simpsons in 'Fraudian Slip' 'The Simpsons shows a quintessentially repressed ego, that is not, I fear, going to fit into this line. Doh!

[cue music, blue sky with white clouds, tap dancing elephants, etc., etc.]

Homer Simpson: Marge, have you seen my expenses claim forms?

Marge: No, but I think Bart is reading something. There's a first time for everything!

Homer: Why you - give me my forms back, boy!

Bart: It says here you're claiming for a holiday in Africa, two trips to Disneyworld, a year's supply of Duff beer and 200 maple trees, all as expenses for your work. Will Mr. Burns allow that?

Homer [snatching back forms]: Never you mind about all that, they were all legitimate expenses for my job. I had to go to Africa to see if African elephants have been affected by our power plant, Disneyworld was to improve my customer relations skills -

Bart: What skills?

Homer: The beer was to help me concentrate on my work, and the trees, er, were to make the neighborhood more, um, ecologically, I mean to help absorb the noxious fumes from the plant

Bart: Plants give off noxious fumes?

Homer [hitting Bart]: And now to the living room, to continue filling in the forms. Get me a beer, boy

[Bart switches on TV]

TV: 'The Jacqui and Hazel Show!' 'Hello, Jacqui, can I borrow your pig trough, please?' 'OK, Hazel' 'Mmm, yum yum, lots of free dinners and holidays in your trough, Jacqui' 'Actually, I taped you at the trough, Hazel, and have sent the evidence to the newspapers, hahaha!,

and am now switching on those electric wires around the trough to give you a massive electric shock!', and turns on the switch, enough to turn anyone's hair into a ridiculous shade of red, and styled like a monk's that's forgotten what brushes and combs are for. In other words, the electricity fails to connect. 'The End'.

Bart [laughing heartily]: Ha ha ha ha ha ha, another great episode!

Lisa: Well, I thought it was in poor taste, actually, surely it is the right of women everywhere to be as equals to men, and help themselves to what men have been stealing for centuries. Surely -

Marge: Dinner's ready!

Bart [at table]: Couldn't we claim back our food on the expenses forms, Dad?

Homer: Don't be stupid, then Mr. Burns would fire me and what would we do then?

Bart: Emigrate to Britain, and become Cabinet Ministers?

Homer: I'll buy the tickets, just as soon as I've finished this pizza

[credits roll]

'Written and directed by Matt 'Fat Cat' Groenig

Voices: Dan 'Cash, Please' Castellaneta, Nancy 'Can't Write This Expenses Form Out Quickly Enough' Cartwright, Julie 'I Kan' Kavner, Yeardly 'Yearly Tax Deductions' Smith, Hank 'Thank You For All The Free Dinners' Azaria

Guest stars: Sir Paul 'My Car Needs Extra Suspension To Manage The Weight Of All My Money When I Go Out Anywhere' McCartney, Hazel 'Hazy Memory About Expenses Claims' Blears;

Jacqui 'Everything I Do Seems Kind Of Tacky' Smith, John 'Five Bellies' Prescott, David 'Make You Yawn' Cameron, and Gerry 'You Have Thirty Minutes To Hand Me £800,000 To Put In My Irish Republican Trough, Or I'll Blow Your House Up' Adams.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!
Print this

Share/Bookmark

Go to top