Written by NickFun
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Tuesday, 26 May 2009

A few months ago I was driving along the 101 Freeway From Los Angeles to Santa Barbara enjoying a fine cigar. It was late at night and I seemed to be alone. I saw the sign which reads: "Littering Punishable by a $1000 fine".

I thought to myself, "that's a good idea. That will discourage people from littering and ruining this beautiful drive".

At that time I realized my cigar had gone out. It was nearing the end anyway so I picked it out of the ashtray and flung it out the window. Suddenly, flashing red lights appeared behind me. I knew my goose was cooked.

"What was that you threw out the window"", the officer asked me.

"That was a cigar butt", I explained to the officer.

"It's littering!" the officer told me.

I thought about this for a moment. My worst fears had been realized. I became one of those people whom I detest! Rather than admit to the crime, I explained things.

"I'm just being environmentally conscious sir. That cigar butt will degrade and provide nutrients to the soil. It will lead to flourishing plant life which in turn will promote the well being of animals. In essence, I have contributed to the well being of this planet and to the lessening of global warming!"

The officer ignored my pleas and wrote me the ticket anyway. However, I contested in in court and won! I told the judge that I was new to California (actually, I've been here three years) and didn't realize a cigar butt was criminal and I promised to be more careful in the future.

The next time I litter I will make sure it's a huge bag of wet trash! If I'm gonna be fined a thousand bucks I want to get my moneys worth!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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