Written by HalesBDavis
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Friday, 1 May 2009

Teen queens, Brenda Song and Miley Cyus recently talked to me about revenge, the Jonas Brothers and their love lives.

Brenda, 20, and Miley, 16, both claim that they dated a member of the Jonas Brothers. Miley and Nick Jonas, the youngest Jonas Brother, dated in the past. Miley claims they were "in love". Brenda and Joe Jonas were also once an item in 2008, they reportedly kept their relationship a secret from the public media eye.

Brenda on the other hand claims she never "loved" Joe, Brenda told me: "I was never in love with Joe, he dumped me for Taylor Swift in June 2008. I don't know what I did to deserve this. He didn't want anyone to know about our relationship, which I accept." adding, "Miley [Cyrus] and I are planning revenge on the Jonas Brothers. I was really hurt, I cried for months after we broke up because I liked him. He said that we would be together forever and always. He promised, I guess it was all just a lie. Joe and his brothers are good people and they sometimes have good intentions. I just want Joe and Nick to realize what they have done. Kevin needs to learn this lesson too, because he dumped Zoe Myers in 2005 for no reason and she was really hurt over it. Those brothers are going to pay for every tear."

While Miley said, "I was in love with Nick. He was my best friend, my 24/7. I was in love with him, and I adored his brothers. I cried for months after we split, I was deeply hurt. Nick was my first love. I'm pretending to be OK with him dating other girls but I'm not. Nick and I are friends now but I want to teach him a lesson. Breaking up with a girl is like.. a really difficult thing and he needs to know that he really hurt me. I never received an apology. I want to be his friend but at the same time I want to teach him a lesson. Brenda [Song] and I are planning to teach Joe and Nick a lesson. Kevin can tag along too.. It's just really important that they realize what they have done. The Jonas Brothers don't like their relationships to be public, everything has to be done behind close doors. Brenda didn't like that, she wanted to go to Starbucks with Joe but he just never wanted them to be seen in public. Revenge is coming, Nicky."

Unfortunately, country pop singer Taylor Swift will not be taking part in the Jonas revenge venture for unknown personal reasons. Nevertheless, Taylor has been talking to me about the consequences of breaking a girl's heart. She told me: "Love is a battlefield. It's pain, guys don't really realize what they've done when they break up with a girl. That is why I write songs, songs are like medication. They help me get over guys and they are also a method of revenge. Guys are scared to date me because I will just write about them in a not-so positive way when they break up with me. It's sad but it's reality."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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