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Sunday, 26 April 2009

image for The Curse Of The 1966 World Cup Final The Day England Played In Red

For those who witnessed it, whether live at a sun drenched Wembley Stadium, or at home on a fuzzy black and white television set, it was an unforgettable experience. The World Cup Final, England 2 West Germany 2, the game in extra time.

Geoff Hurst turns in the six yard box and rifles in a shot, which careens downwards off the crossbar before bouncing out of the goalmouth. But did it actually cross the line?

Alan Ball seemed convinced it did. The Russian linesman was convinced it did. Goal given, 3-2 England. Later, in extra time, Hurst gallops away towards the German goal and hammers in a fourth.

"They think it's all over! It is now!" exclaims Kenneth Wolstenholme in the legendary BBC commentary. Cue a proud Bobby Moore stepping up to receive the Jules Rimet Trophy, Bobby Charlton in tears of elation, Nobby Stiles frolicking about like a nine year-old.

But should the goal have stood?

"Nein!" Said Fritz Bitters, an anorak from Dusseldorf who has spent the last 43 years trying to prove that the ball did not cross the line. "England cheated West Germany out of ze World Cup. No vay on Gott's Earth did ze ball cross ze line. Ze very fact zat ze linesman was a Russian is an omen in itself. Zere has never been much love lost between Russia and der Fatherland. It was a fix."

Bitters went on to allege that everybody involved in the incident, as witnesses or participants have been cursed. He claimed that many people have died since the goal was awarded, including players, supporters who cheered the goal, and even the Russian linesman.

When we pointed out to him that we considered his claims to be risible, on the grounds that within a 43 year timespan several deaths could be expected irrespective of the linesman's decision that day, he replied:

"Zey are cursed. Cheats vill never prosper."

We won't be visiting Herr Bitters again because he is a complete and utter twat.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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