Written by dave chave99
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Saturday, 18 April 2009

image for The Seed of Janeane Garofalo and Keith Olbermann

Part 1 - First Encounters

On a quiet afternoon in the green room of an NBC studio Janeane Garofalo and Keith Olbermann were having a cup of coffee and talking to each other after a somewhat exhausting on air interview.

"We really nailed those un-American, ignorant rednecks today" said Janeane.

Keith looked towards her, deep down he knew she was not mentally sane but felt strangely attracted to her.

"Oh, I agree" he said. Keith looked under the table, he noticed that what he mistakenly thought was a trouser crease had been growing larger and larger by the second. "Will you excuse me for a minute, I need the bathroom."

He then moved quickly out of the green room and into the men's restroom. He went into a cubicle, locked the door and pulled out what looked like a home-made scrapbook. He dropped his pants and sat down on the toilet seat.

He opened the scrapbook, it contained pictures of various news anchors and journalists performing sexual acts on each other. One photo in particular featured Bill O'Reilly giving a reach around to Geraldo Rivera. In another, Michael Moore and Rush Limbaugh had been ball gagged and tied to a fridge with its door open and a ham inside.

"Come on, Come on Sean" chanted Keith as he climaxed. A few seconds later, Keith fell to the ground and passed out.


Part 2 - The Conception

Keith returned to the green room and sat back down at the table. "Janeane, I've got something to tell you" he said.

"Oh really, what is it?" replied Janeane.

"Well over the past few hours of being so close to you I have become rather attracted to you. I don't know whether it's your flaky skin, your greasy hair or the fact that you dress like someone half your age." said Keith. "I feel the same way, let's do it. Right here right now." screamed Janeane.

Keith went over to a CD player in the corner of the room and turned it on. The music started playing, it was the Miley Cyrus song "See you again" played backwards.

"SEND THEM IN!!!" shouted Keith.

The door opened and in walked Ann Coulter holding a carrier bag of 5 recently aborted foetuses.

The lights dimmed, by this time both Keith and Janeane were completely naked and were now covering themselves in Johnson's baby oil.

Janeane lay down on the floor with her legs spread wide open. Keith got on top and entered her.

Ann Coulter reached into the bag, pulled out a foetus and launched it towards them. It hit Keith's back then slid down to the floor.

"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSS!!!" screamed Keith as he came.

The first stage was now complete. Janeane was now impregnated with the Antichrist. It was only a matter of time before their spawn would grow up and take over.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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